The Day of Burial

The funeral and burial services for the rest of the family are tomorrow. My plan for tomorrow begins with the breakfast described below, minus bacon, since I have been a vegetarian for many decades now. I will have chocolate soymilk instead of cow's milk.

I'll just include what I asked my husband to do for me:

"Please put cinnamon in the purple washi envelope. Cinnamon will always remind me of cinnamon toast on the couch in Cleveland watching Captain Kangaroo and the Today show. I can see her moving back and forth, bringing it to me and putting it on a tv tray. Even though I always asked for the same thing, she always asked me what I wanted before making it. My breakfast was made to order, and it was always cream of wheat, bacon, and cinnamon toast with chocolate milk. thx"

I always loved Mr. Moose and Bunny Rabbit more than the Captain and Mr. Green Jeans. The ping pong balls just killed me with laughter.

I will sing for her here tomorrow. I will post a song list for anyone else who wants to sing for her. She had a beautiful voice. One day recently when we were talking on the phone, I said, "I know all your songs, and I sing them." We both understood that I was saying, "I will always remember you." I'm so lucky I was able to say that. That same day, in order to demonstrate to her that I carried her within me, I started a song called Roomful of Roses, and she sang along with me. Her diaphragm was paralyzed, and she couldn't summon a lot of air. It was the sweetest thing for me to be given the opportunity to sing to her and with her. I told her about the cinnamon too.

My voice is not as clear and sweet as hers, but you don't listen to perfect pitch singing every day without developing some kind of ear. When I said that my grandmother, her mother, had had a pretty voice, and an operatic one, she told me that her mother had studied voice. I never knew that. This matriarchy is full of surprises, right up until the end. I love them. I am of them, and I feel that more than I ever have. I wonder if that is a common sensation. It is so palpable, I think it must be.